The 30 Day Challenge (Dear Diary): Day 03

Day 03: Your first love: I suffer from a dysfunction that causes me to fall in love too far and too fast. Perhaps it stems from listening to too much Alkaline Trio, as if that’s something to complain about. Maybe it comes from a fear of ending up alone. The possibility could be that I’m just a complete and total softy. Whatever the reason may be, I want to make it abundantly clear that I meant it every single solitary time I unburned my soul and told you that I was in love with you, ladies. My first girlfriend was way back in third grade. She was a lovely girl, she still is, with a beautiful family both then and now, and I miss her dearly. She’s good people and we’ve sort of fallen out of touch.

But the first girl to really mess me up in the head didn’t really come along until I was twenty-two. I’d met her in college and she just has this soul about her that makes you want to do things you’d never even imagined just to be near her. For the record, I did ask her out on a date before leaving college, and she did say yes, but the date never happened due to assumptions that were made. When that fateful day came, I’d called to arrange a time to come pick her up and her mom told me that she was already in bed, sleeping. It was four in the afternoon, and I figured I was just being blown off. As it turns out, she was really sick, and of course in awesome Ferg-fashion, I overreacted and didn’t really talk to her until I moved home.

We eventually reconnected thanks in part to the magic of the internet, and really, this time, connected. It got to the point where I had rented a motel room and taken a few days off from work to make a surprise visit for her birthday. Through a series of unimportant events, I allowed a friend of hers to get in the way, and the trip ended up turning into an amazing nightmare. In the paragraph above this one, I stated that this lady messed me up in the head. To be incredibly clear, any damaging actions taken were my fault, and I blame her for absolutely nothing. But she had me all twisted up to the point where I would have done anything for her, and to this day I would. She’s still a very good friend of mine, and I hope that she finds everything that she’s looking for in life and so much more.

Tomorrow: Day 04: Your parents:
Lord, help us all…stay tuned.

“First Love” image lifted from:

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