The Average American Male follows a nameless character around Los Angeles, as he thinks with one part of his body from the first page of Chapter Two until the final page of the book. He spends most of the book chasing that woman on the airplane, Alyna, while basically running from his long-term girlfriend, Casey. Well then, what happens in Chapter One? Each chapter is titled and, if the titles aren’t setting the scene or the mood, they’re a clever quip about what you’re going to be reading. “Christmas with Mom and Dad” sums up where the narrator is preparing to fly home from, and the first chapter sets up the rest of this story better than any book I’ve ever read. Chapter One is one sentence long.
“Same old bullshit.”
Whether the visit with mom and dad was a nonsensical waste of time spent watching the clock until it was time to run for the airport gates is unclear, because as you progress from chapter to chapter, the first page of this story continues to ring true. If you aren’t reading about the things that the main character has done to women, you’re reading what he would be doing to various women that he sees as he walks the streets of L.A. This leaves the main character standing alone in the rain, looking into the sky, trying to figure out how he can stick his member in a cloud’s ass, rather than screaming at god, questioning why he’s such a flat character. Seriously, that’s about it. He thinks with his penis, and that’s the story.
To The Average American Male‘s benefit, the language is short, amusing, and timely, allowing for the pages to progress along at a rather painless pace. And the narrator is a witty, sarcastic, ass, allowing for his inner-thoughts to entertain you, as he thinks up graphic ways to punish his girlfriend while she’s being obnoxious. However the possibility that you’re reading someone’s blog just out of college, still attempting to relive those nights in the fraternity is, more and to the point, a higher probability than someone sitting at home saying, “I want to write a book about this guy…” No one wants to write a book about this guy. He’s a one-note superficial misogynist and his only redeeming quality is that he willingly gives to the poor and homeless.